The Conditions of Authority

Culture & Identity

15 dec

We talk about authority as if it’s something you can carry on your own. As if it sits inside you, intact, waiting to be claimed. And if it doesn’t land, the assumption is simple: you didn’t hold it well enough.

I don’t think that’s true. Or at least, it doesn’t match what I keep seeing.

What keeps bothering me is how much effort we spend trying to stabilize something that is, by nature, relational. Authority isn’t an internal asset you protect. It’s an effect. It appears when what you offer meets something another person is actually ready to receive. The same move can feel steady in one moment and intrusive in the next, without any internal shift on your side. That difference rarely gets acknowledged. We treat it as a personal flaw instead.

I’ve noticed how quickly misalignment turns into self-correction. When something doesn’t land, the instinct is almost automatic: adjust the language, refine the signal, discipline the edges. Not because it’s clearly the right move, but because doing nothing feels irresponsible. Control gives the illusion of authorship. If I keep calibrating, I can make myself legible anywhere.

But that assumes reception is something you can earn through precision alone. It assumes authority should be portable. And I’m not convinced that’s a neutral belief.

Because what often looks like confidence work is actually over-calibration. Energy spent trying to secure reception in places where authority was never going to form. Not because something is wrong, but because relation has limits we don’t like to acknowledge.

What we call imposter syndrome then isn’t doubt. It’s misplaced responsibility. We internalize what is happening between us and someone else, and turn it into a personal project. As if every interaction that doesn’t resolve is feedback we failed to interpret correctly.

There’s something quietly destabilizing about refusing that move.

Not by insisting harder on your worth, but by letting it remain partially outside your control. By accepting that authority doesn’t always appear, not because you lack it, but because it only exists when it’s met.

What if the time spent correcting for reception is time diverted from choosing the relations that could carry it.